How to Fail

1.  Always arrive late.

2.  Never slip into your desk quietly.  instead, make a "big production" of entering the room by interrupting the class in session, dropping your books, etc..

3.  Better yet, don't have your book with you.

4.  Never bring a pencil to class.  Always borrow someone's and forget to give it back.

5.  Never have a charged battery or your charger, and then make a scene to go and get a battery.

6.  Never, ever do your homework.  The teacher will admire your consistency.

7.  Lose your text book the first few weeks of school so you will have an excuse for not reading your assignments.

8.  During class, doodle on your notebook or on your computer.

9.  Draw as much attention to yourself as possible by being loud, starting arguments, etc..

10.  Groan a lot

11.  Say, "this is boring or how is your day!" loudly every 5 minutes or so, especially if the classroom is quiet.

12.  Ask, "why do we have to do this stuff?" as often as possible

13.  after the teacher says, "turn to page 36," say, "What page?"

14.  When your group or partner is depending on you, show up unprepared.  better yet, don't show up at all.

15.  Turn in your assignments incomplete, or not at all.

16.  If you absolutely can't talk in class, fall asleep instead of working on your next assignment.

17.  When you get your test back with an "F," shout, it's better than the last one," and "you just don't like me!"

18.  Never show concern about your grade until the last day of the grading period.  Then ask the teacher for extra credit you can do to make up all of the missing and failing assignments.

19.  if the teacher says "No," throw a fit.

20.  Tease the student that sits in front of you by banging the back of their chair or making strange noises.

21.  Tease the student in front of you by taking their assignment, computer, or pencil.  Remember to keep an innocent look on your face.

22.  Stay up as late as possible so you will be sleepy in class.

23.  Always chew gum loudly and leave candy wrappers laying in the room for someone else to pick up.

24.  If you have a report to do, always copy it word-for-word from the internet.

25.  If you decide to do homework, make sure you copy it from someone else.

26.  If you decide to do your homework for 8th period English, make sure you do it during 7th hour biology.

27.  Don't take notes.  if you followed items 4 and 5 this should not be a problem.\

"Remember that no one has the right to interfere with the learning of another."

 

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